"Pick your furniture like you pick a wife; it should make you feel comfortable and look nice, but not so nice that if someone walks past it they want to steal it.” “First things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell? ...Okay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in a car that's not moving makes you an asshole.”“Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me”That last one was the first one I ever saw on Twitter, and I laughed until I was in tears. My Uncle Dale is exactly like this, so whenever I picture Sam Halpern, in my mind he looks just like Uncle Dale. Sure, sure, BillFuckingShatner might think he's cornered the Justin's Dad market, but not to me. This is a funny, funny book. It's not complicated, or profound, except in the way that families can be both, when they love each other. This book is a gentle-hearted poke at love between a father and son. I loved it, and I laughed. I know, I know, 5 stars? Why not? it was delightful, sometimes you just gotta go with that.