Great story concept, with opposing forces being driven by incompatible ideologies. I really enjoyed the descriptions of battle, the references to their gods, and the different perspectives of the same events. The "romance" portion of the dialogue seemed more like a rough draft though, and I found that jarring, especially being in the midst of other writing that flowed well. It was almost like two different manuscripts were spliced together. I also found the backwards words a little strange: "Haissem" and "Armak." I suspect that there might be more in the next (full length) installment, but I hope not.